u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
