Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
