That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
