Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
