plz talk dirty to me
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
