Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
