your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
