yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
