i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
