lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
