i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
