Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
