Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
