I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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