just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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