You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize