There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
