what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
