you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
