clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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