If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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