Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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