So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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