Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
