Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
