I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
