How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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