It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Damn victory sex feels great
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
