I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
