I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
