And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
