does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
