I smell stomach acid.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
