PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
