one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I need moral support for this bender
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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