Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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