Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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