haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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