The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You are the jesus of drinking
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
