I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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