I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
