We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
