none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
