you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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