you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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