it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
