Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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