You're my little dorito
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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