honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
