Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
