Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize