..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
only you would photoshop your dick
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
