yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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