Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
