Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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