I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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