I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
