I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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